Queen of Pain No More

She had to undergo that week of misery and struggle. Never in her wildest dreams had she seen things unfolding the way they did. It was not her choice to be in that situation, to be alone and in pain. But she had to face the consequences of her actions. She had never thought of those when she was at the height of what she presumed was real, never thinking it would depart as air, in its most unexpected time. No wonder she was left there hanging. Didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know how to get out of the tricky maze.

She got by with a little help from her friends. They listened to her intently. Different persona bringing her diverse perspectives. One would say forget about him, you deserve better. Do not waste your time on him. Another said to give him the time and space he needed. At least he bid goodbye. Someone pleaded not to romanticize things and just be realistic. There were those who looked with her in the eye as if telling her things will be fine. A tap on the shoulder, warm hug, company, gift of presence all revived the sleeping beauty in her. Spending time with her in times when she was at her lowest was all she was thankful for. She did not mind having sleepless nights just to be with them rather than burying herself with memories of that day when he said he wanted to detach from her. She had to endure the days when she could not concentrate at work, could not eat well, and all she wanted was to go home and rest. She had migraine, vomiting here and there, letting the tears fall, and her cheeks reddening with pain. She got so tired of the emotional circus. She wanted to be in that state when she was so carefree and calm enjoying her solitude. She longed to be back with her old self. She wished she could one day say to end her agony “I hope the exit is joyful, and I hope never to return” like what Frida said before she died.

It may not be that simple recovering from throbbing pain of the past, but she believes that time heals all wounds. When that time comes, she knows she just looks back with a smile on her face. Memories, good or bad, happiness or hurt, surely never to be forgotten. Lessons learned for her realizing that life is so precious to waste with tears and sadness. There is a better plan. One day, things are going to be all right, and she is queen of pain no more.

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